11:08 am – I don’t think twice about taking off my shirt at Joey’s AquaTots “lesson” (basically some dads and moms sit in the kiddie pool with their children and the lifeguards come by and say, “Good job, Joey, high five!” whenever he gets a new part of his body wet). It’s not that I’m looking real good, but I feel good and that unearned confidence translates into more views of my barrel chest for the lad(y)ies.

2:34 – Walking around town with a bag of strawberries in one pocket and, you guessed it, a banana in the other. When I realize that I am actually walking around with a banana in my pocket (please, no jokes, it’s too easy) I eat it quick. The strawberries I kind of forget about until I walk out of a bookstore and absentmindedly pull them out, right as a former student is walking by. From the look on his face you’d think he’s never seen anyone pull a warm and juicy bag of strawberries out of their left pants pocket. Weird.

4:15 – Eating pistachios and thinking, “They really might be the King of Nuts.” But then I think, “No, cashews.” Then, “There’s probably an even better nut out there I’ve never even heard of.” Then I remember that sometimes when you buy a bag of pistachios without the shell, the package will say, something like “Raw Pistachio Meats,” or “Dry Roasted Pistachio Nut Meats,” and I’m almost getting sick thinking about the word nutmeat. Could there be a worse word? Nuts are not meat. Although then I diagnose the conundrum with some Google and find that in addition to meaning the edible kernel of any nut (the thing inside the shell), nutmeat is also a vegan meat substitute, usually made from peanuts. Sounds unnecessary.